


(You're a) Strange Animal

by FrankenSpine



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Cat!Regina, Cats, Complete, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Magic, Payback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankenSpine/pseuds/FrankenSpine
Summary: Re-upload. Emma accidentally turns Regina into a cat. Title is from the song of the same name by Gowan.





	1. Magical Mishap

Emma was down in the vault with Regina, going over the basics of shapeshifting. She was struggling to read the incantation, as it was in some ancient language she didn’t recognize.

“Um,” Emma paused, “Ente me— _what?” _

Regina just sighed and shook her head. _“Ente meja edu e valeona.”_

“Okay,” said Emma, “and what the hell does that mean?”

“It means, ‘turn me into a cat,’” Regina explained.

“That’s it? Just like that?”

The brunette nodded. “Just like that.”

“Well, how do I make it work?”

“You need to summon your magic and concentrate on becoming a cat. Think of the fur, the color, and the overall shape of the cat.”

“Will I be able to talk?”

“Yes, dear,” said Regina, “If anything goes wrong, then I will turn you back into a human.”

“Why can’t I just do it myself?”

“Because you haven’t learned how to control your magic in animal form. Who knows what you might havoc you might wreak in cat form?”

“Okay, well, can I at least have a kiss first? You know, for good luck?”

A smile tugged at Regina’s lips. “Very well.” Her lips met Emma’s in a feather-light kiss, and she turned away, only for a moment, to fetch something from her potion cabinet.

Behind her, Emma muttered, _“Ente nuja edu e valeona.” _

Suddenly, Regina felt a shift in the air. She blinked in confusion when she saw that the potion cabinet was somehow even taller. “Emma, is it just me or has the room gotten bigger?”

She turned to look at Emma, expecting to find a cat, but instead, she found herself staring up at the blonde, who was still very much human.

“Emma,” she said slowly, “What did you do?”

Emma bore a remorseful grimace. “I, um— well— it looks like I may have, uh, turned you into a cat instead?”

She was sure that if cats were capable of frowning, Regina certainly would have been.

“Emma,” Regina said, barely containing her anger, “what _exactly_ did you say?”

“Ente nuja edu e valeona.”

Suddenly, Regina launched herself up off the ground and onto the blonde’s chest, clinging to her girlfriend’s red jacket with her new claws.

“I told you it was _ente meja!_ **Not** ‘ente nuja!’”

“I’m sorry, okay?! It won’t happen again!”

“You bet your ass it won’t!” Regina snapped, “If it does, I’ll rip you to shreds!”

“I’ll try to change you back!” Emma promised.

“No! The last thing I need is you screwing up again! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I need to speak to Gold.”

“I can take you there.”

“Of course you can,” said Regina, “and you _will._ You owe me this.”

Emma sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, Gina,” she said, “Do you really think I _wanted_ this to happen?”

Regina was quiet for a moment. “I suppose not,” she relented, “but that doesn’t make this any less humiliating.”

“Oh come on, Regina, I’m sure being a cat isn’t that bad. I mean, people _love_ cats. _I_ love cats, and I know Henry does, too.”

“I’m not a cat, Emma! I’m just a woman stuck in a cat’s body!”

“Which makes you a cat.”

Regina huffed. “Damn it, you’re right.”

Emma brought one hand under Regina and the other to her back. This seemed to catch her completely off-guard. “H-How are you doing that?” she demanded.

“Doing what?”

“Making me feel so— so— _comfortable?” _

“I’m just holding you, Regina.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Regina rested her head in the crook of Emma’s neck and shoulder, closing her eyes in contentment. They flew back open when a low rumble came up from within her.

“Emma, did I just— _purr?”_

Emma smiled. “Sure did. You make a cute cat, you know that?”

Regina huffed. “Don’t mock me.”

“It was a compliment, Regina,” Emma told her, “You know, I think you’d make a great meme.”

“A great _what?” _

“You know, a meme? Like Grumpy Cat? Rest in peace, Tardar Sauce.”

_“…What?” _

Emma shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s get you to Mr. Gold.” She climbed into her car with Regina and tried to pry the black cat from her jacket, but Regina wouldn’t budge. “Come on, Gina, I need you to let go.”

“No. I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of this deathtrap on wheels!”

“Oh come on, it’s not like we’re going to the vet.”

Regina panicked. _“The vet?!”_ She sprung away from Emma and into the passenger seat. Her dark fur was standing on end and her tail was puffed up like a Christmas tree. Her eyes were dilated to the point that they were almost entirely black.

“Regina, we’re just going to see Gold, okay?”

“Promise me!”

“Regina, please—”

“I said _promise me!” _

Emma sighed. “Fine. I promise, we’re not going to the vet.”

Regina tucked her legs beneath her, taking the form of a little fluffy loaf, and tried to make herself as content as possible while Emma drove to Gold’s shop. When they arrived, the old man was standing behind the counter. He looked up with a slight frown when he saw the cat in Emma’s arms.

“No animals allowed, Swan,” he told her.

“Ah, actually, it’s Regina.”

“…Come again?”

“It’s me, you _imp!”_ Regina snapped.

A smirk tugged at Gold’s lips. “Well, isn’t that interesting?” he asked, “However did this happen?”

“Emma said the wrong word in an incantation,” Regina said bitterly.

“It was an accident, okay?!” cried Emma. She sighed heavily. “We need your help, Mr. Gold,” she said, “Regina won’t let me do any more magic.”

“And for good reason,” Regina huffed.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you,” said the Dark One.

Emma frowned. “What? Why not?”

“Because, Dearie, you’re the one who cast the spell, so you have to reverse it.”

“Absolutely not!” shouted Regina, “The last thing I need is for her to turn herself into a cat before she changes me back! Then we’ll _both_ be stuck this way!”

“I won’t do that, Regina.”

“How can I possibly know that?! You weren’t supposed to do this to begin with! How can I know you won’t screw up again?!”

“Why don’t you just turn yourself back into a human, then?!” Emma snapped.

“Because I haven’t shape-shifted in more than thirty years! And I’ve never turned into a cat before! I might wind up turning into a _frog,_ for all I know!”

“Ladies, please,” said Mr. Gold, “Take this catfight elsewhere.”

Regina promptly bared her fangs at him and hissed. Yes, _hissed._ Gold just chuckled at her as Emma carried her back out to the car. Emma attempted to make her let go, but Regina refused. On the contrary, she only clung tighter to the red jacket.

“Well, what do we do now?” asked the Sheriff.

“Take me to the mansion,” said Regina, “I just want to be somewhere safe.”

“Okay. What about Henry?”

“You’re going to have to cook for him,” said Regina, “so once you drop me off, I need you to run by the store and buy groceries.”

“Sure thing,” said Emma.

“And no junk food,” Regina told her, “The last thing Henry needs is potato chips and cookies.”

“Not even one cookie?”

“Not even one, Miss Swan.”

“Oh, so we’re back to ‘Miss Swan,’ are we?”

“Until you find a way to turn me back, then yes.”

“How about until you stop being angry?” Emma retorted.

“You’re such a child,” Regina muttered.

“Touché, Madame Mayor.”

“It’s _Your Majesty.”_


	2. Catastrophe

Henry was in the living room watching TV when the front door opened, and he perked up when he saw Emma carrying a fluffy black cat with marigold eyes. He ran up to Emma with a look of wonder.

“Hi, Ma! Where’d you get the cat?”

“Hey kid,” said Emma, “About the cat—”

_“Henry, sweetheart, it’s me.” _

Henry’s eyes grew wide as he heard the cat speak. “Did she just talk? And why does she sound like Mom?”

“Because she is,” Emma told him, “I, uh, accidentally turned Regina into a cat.”

“Can’t you change her back?”

“I could try, but she won’t let me.”

“Why not, Mom?”

“Because she turned me into a cat to begin with, and I won’t allow her to screw things up any further!”

“Well, how are you gonna change back?” asked Henry.

“I don’t know yet, darling, but I’ll figure it out,” said Regina, “Don’t you worry.”

“Who’s gonna make me dinner?”

“Emma,” Regina said reluctantly, “Hopefully she doesn’t mess that up, too.”

Emma frowned. “Hey, you know I make some mean tacos,” she said.

“Only because I taught you how to make them,” said Regina.

“Yeah, well, I learned from the best,” said Emma.

She was able to pry Regina off of her and put the sassy feline down in front of Henry, whom immediately became the object of Regina’s affection. Regina was purring loudly, rubbing herself against his legs. Henry smiled as he bent down to pick her up, and she continued to purr as he stroked her.

“I take it that feels good?”

“Oh yes,” said Regina, “It’s absolutely wonderful, dear.”

“Well, I’m gonna go to the store now,” said Emma, “You wanna come, Henry?”

“Sure!” Henry set Regina back down, much to her dismay. “Don’t worry, Mom,” he told her, “We won’t be gone long.”

“Well what am _I_ supposed to do?” asked Regina.

“You’re a cat,” said Emma, “You’ll never be bored. Trust me.”

Emma and Henry left, and Regina scoffed once the door was shut. “Never be bored, my ass,” she muttered, “I’ll never get _anything_ done like this!”

She wandered through the house for a bit, looking around in dissatisfaction, but then she saw it. There, on the kitchen table, was a half-empty water bottle. Regina’s pupils dilated, and she darted to the kitchen, jumping up into a chair and onto the table. Then, without hesitation, she smacked the bottle off the table with her paw. It was quite a rush, though she wasn’t sure why, exactly. All she knew was that she needed to do it again. She looked around for more things to knock over. This was going to be fun.

When Emma and Henry returned to the mansion just two hours later, they found the place in complete disarray. Pictures, candles, a plastic bottle, and various other items had all been knocked over. There was toilet paper with bite marks and scratches in it, strewn across the hardwood, and Regina was sitting calmly in the center of it all, licking her paw so as it wipe it against her fluffy face. She paused when she noticed Emma and Henry gaping at her.

“What?” she asked, “Can’t a lady give herself a bath without people ogling her?”

“Regina,” Emma said incredulously, “do you not see the mess you’ve made?”

Regina looked around, completely unfazed. “Not my problem,” she said, “I’m just a cat, after all. I don’t know any better.”

“Why would you do that?” asked Emma.

“Because I was bored and I want attention,” Regina said matter-of-factly. She perked up when Henry pulled a can of tuna out from one of the shopping bags. “Ah, tuna. Please open it for me, sweetheart. I’m starving.”

“What makes you think you deserve it?” asked Emma.

“Because I’m an adorable Queen and I get what I want,” Regina said confidently.

Emma just stared at her for a moment. “You don’t seem nearly as bothered by the whole ‘cat’ thing as before.”

“Yes, well, after the fun I’ve had these past two hours, I’ve realized that perhaps being a cat isn’t quite so terrible, after all.”

“So you want to stay like this forever?”

“That isn’t what I said.”

“Then how long do you plan on being a cat?”

“As long as I want,” said Regina, “Now may I _please_ have the tuna?”

Emma sighed. “Alright,” she said, “Henry, give her the can.”

Henry opened the tab on the little aluminum can and set it down on the floor. Regina practically sprinted for it, purring loudly as she devoured the tuna. Emma and Henry went into the kitchen to unload the groceries while Regina _thoroughly_ enjoyed her meal.

Emma went into the utility room and set out two bowls, an empty litter box, and a box of kitty litter. Henry brought in a bag of cat food. Emma filled the box with litter and poured water into one bowl and food into the other. She put the bag of food in the cabinet above the washer and dryer, high up so that Regina couldn’t get to it, and went back into the kitchen to put the groceries away. While she did that, Henry retrieved the cat bed he’d insisted on getting for his feline mother and carried it into the living room, where he removed the bed from the box.

“Hey, Mom, I got you a bed.”

Regina paused, already halfway through her tuna, and immediately darted towards the bed. However, she ended up jumping over it and going straight for the box, flipping her tail back and forth wildly. Her eyes were completely dilated.

“Um, wouldn’t you rather lay on the cat bed?”

“I only want the box, Henry,” Regina said defensively, “and you wouldn’t happen to have a plastic bag, would you?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“I want to chew on it.”

Henry’s brows furrowed. “Why?”

“I don’t know, dear, I just really want to.”

“Don’t you want the rest of your tuna?”

“Oh, absolutely, but you see, darling, I’ve already made myself perfectly comfortable in this box, and I don’t feel like moving.”

Henry just shook his head as he brought her the can. Regina sniffed at it a bit, but then she suddenly darted out of the box and up the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Henry called after her, “I thought you said you wanted the tuna?”

“Later, sweetheart! All I want is to see what other treasures there are for me to play with.”

Henry grimaced. “Oh no.” He hurried up the stairs after her. “Mom, wait! No more destroying the house!”

Regina’s cackling rang out all through the mansion. It seemed that this whole ‘cat’ situation was going to be more of a dilemma for everyone else, rather than her.


	3. Purrfection

Regina was sitting contentedly in her cardboard box, purring loudly while she happily enjoyed the rest of her tuna. Emma and Henry, having spent forty-five minutes cleaning up her mess, were now in the kitchen enjoying tacos. Once Regina finished her meal, she trotted over to the kitchen table and hopped up into a chair, looking stoically at Henry and Emma.

“Emma, could you pour me some milk into a bowl, please?”

“There’s a bowl of water in the utility room,” said Emma, “Just drink that.”

“But I want milk.”

“Well you can have some later.”

“But I want it _now,”_ Regina fussed.

“Regina, I swear—”

“I’ll get her some,” Henry offered.

If Regina could have smiled, she would have in a heartbeat. “Thank you, dear. It is much appreciated.”

“No problem, Mom.”

Henry got a bowl down from the cabinet and poured some cold milk into it, setting it down carefully next to his chair. Regina rushed over and immediately began to lap up the milk, once again purring happily. Her purring grew even louder when Henry reached down to stroke her little head.

“You know,” said Henry, “I think I could get used to this.”

“You mean you don’t mind your mother being a cat?” asked Emma.

Henry shrugged. “I’m happy if she’s happy.”

“Fair enough,” Emma conceded.

She and Henry enjoyed their tacos while Regina drank up all of her milk, and once the sassy feline was done, she jumped up into Henry’s lap.

“I hope you don’t mind,” said Regina, “but I feel safe up here.”

“It’s fine, Mom,” Henry told her.

He lifted her into his arms and brought her to his bedroom upstairs, where Regina perched herself on his pillow and tucked her legs beneath her fluffy body, once again shaping herself into a sort of loaf.

“Thank you for looking after me, my little Prince.”

Henry smiled. “What can I say? You’ve looked after me for thirteen years now. This is the least I can do.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.” Regina got up and made her way up beside him and curled up against him, purring softly as he stroked her soft, silky fur. “I love you, Henry.”

Henry’s smile only became wider. “Love you, too, Mom. I’m lucky to have you around.”

“Even though I’m a cat?” Regina asked with just a hint of uncertainty.

“Even though you’re a cat,” said Henry.

He eventually fell asleep, and when Emma came to check on him, she found him lying in bed with a fluffy black cat snoozing soundly on his chest. She smiled as she saw this and discreetly snapped a quick picture on her phone. She quietly made her way to the guest bedroom, where she left the door open just a crack in case Regina decided she wanted inside.

Sure enough, while Emma was scrolling aimlessly through her Facebook feed, she felt a sudden weight on the bed next to her and looked to see the eyes of a cat reflecting the light of her phone. She smiled softly at her feline friend.

“Hey, Gina.”

“Emma?” murmured Regina.

“Oh so it’s back to Emma, huh?”

“Yes.”

“What were you gonna say?” asked Emma.

Regina climbed up onto Emma’s chest. “I wanted to ask if I could sleep here with you for the night,” she said quietly, “If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course it is,” said Emma, “I’m glad you aren’t mad at me anymore.”

Regina curled up into a ball, wrapping her fluffy tail around her tiny body and closing her eyes. “I could never stay mad at you, Emma,” she said, “even if you _did_ turn me into a cat.”

Emma’s smile widened. “Well, that’s good to hear. I love you, Regina.”

Regina’s head perked up as she heard this, and she moved forward just enough to rest her head in the junction between Emma’s neck and shoulder. “I love you, too, Emma.”

When Emma awoke the next morning, she found that Regina was kneading on her pillow, purring loudly into her ear. She smiled and reached over to pet the fluffy feline. Regina nudged Emma’s hand with her head, continuing to purr and knead on the soft pillow.

“Good morning, Emma,” Regina greeted.

Emma scratched gently behind Regina’s ears. “Morning.”

“Emma?”

“Yeah?”

“I really want to chew on some plastic.”


	4. A Crown for a Cat

Regina was having none of it. “I told you, I’m not wearing that.”

“And I told _you,_ you don’t have a choice,” said Emma, “If you want to leave the house, you need to wear a collar.”

“I’m a _Queen,”_ Regina said confidently, “What I need is a _crown,_ not a collar.”

Emma sighed. “Think of it like a crown for a cat. I mean, just look at it, Regina. It’s covered in sparkly rhinestones.”

Rather than responding, Regina began batting at the collar as Emma dangled it in front of her. She yelped when she was suddenly being lifted up off the ground and looked to find Henry scooping her up like a baby. She relaxed and nuzzled him a bit, only to realize she was being collared by Emma. She narrowed her eyes at the two of them.

“A distraction!” she cried, “Henry, my sweet boy, why have you betrayed me like this?”

Henry laughed. “Ah, come on, Mom, it can’t be _that bad.”_

“It _is_ ‘that bad,’” Regina muttered, “I’m your mother, _not_ your pet.”

“For what it’s worth, you’re really cute.”

“Well, thank you, dear. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like you to put me down.”

“Okay.”

Henry set her down, and she immediately began purring and rubbing against his legs affectionately. “Mm, yes, that’s nice,” she said, “Now I want you to pick me back up.”

Henry’s brows furrowed. “What? But you just told me to put you down.”

Regina looked up at him with her big feline eyes. She almost looked like she was smiling. “Yes, I did, but I’ve already changed my mind.”

Henry sighed. “Fine.” He picked her up again, only for her to leap right back down and dart across the floor. “Mom! What’s gotten into you?”

“I saw a bug! I’ve got to catch it!”

Ten minutes later, Regina returned to the living room where Henry was watching TV and proceeded to lie down in the middle of the floor. She seemed incredibly content, but then the doorbell rang, startling her. Henry got up to answer the door, and it was Snow White, of all people. Regina decided to ignore the woman and instead rolled over onto her back with her paws up, her eyes closed, and her furry belly exposed. Despite Snow’s unwanted presence, she felt safe enough to take up such a position, exposing her weak spot as a sign of trust.

“Hi, Henry,” Snow greeted, “Is Emma here?”

“Yeah, she’s in the bathroom.”

Snow’s eyes lit up when she noticed the black cat lying adorably on the floor. “I didn’t know you had a cat,” she said, already walking past her grandson and into the living room.

“Um, actually—”

Before Henry could finish his sentence, Snow reached down to rub the cat’s belly, and suddenly, the feline’s head shot up and the two locked eyes.

“If you touch me, I _will_ bite you,” the cat warned.

Snow was visibly taken aback. “What— _Regina?!_ How— How are you a cat?!”

“Your daughter did this to me,” Regina huffed, “and to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t all that bad until she made me put on this _ridiculous_ collar.”

“Well, to be fair, you do look awfully cute,” said Snow.

Regina moved to sit up, curling her bushy tail around her feet as she looked up at Snow, unamused. “I am not _cute,”_ she said, pausing to lick her paw, “I’m _absolutely gorgeous._ Just look at me.”

It was then that Emma came into the living room. “Regina, what— oh, hey Mom. What’s up?”

“Hi, Emma,” Snow beamed, “I heard you were staying here so I came over to ask if you wanted to go shopping for your father’s birthday. It’s just next week.”

Emma smiled. “Sure. You wanna go right now?”

Snow was quick to return the smile. “Of course.”

“Cool,” said Emma, “I’ll drive.”

“And you need to explain this whole ‘cat’ thing to me.”

“Oh, I will.”

Emma grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and slipped it on as Snow opened the door.

“See you later, guys,” she said, “and Regina, no more wrecking the house.”

Regina scoffed and turned away. “I’m a Queen,” she said, “I do what I want.”

Emma gave her a pointed look. “You do it, and I’ll put you in time out.”

If cats had eyebrows, Regina’s certainly would have been raised. _“Excuse me?_ And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Destroy the place and you’ll find out,” Emma told her.

Regina scoffed. “I didn’t _destroy_ anything,” she said, “I was just having fun— but if it’s destruction you want, then it’s destruction you’ll get.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare.”

“Emma, let’s go,” said Snow, “I’m sure she won’t_ really_ do anything.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her, Mom,” said Emma.

Once they were out the door, Regina looked up at Henry and proceeded to rub up against him.

“Henry, would you be a dear and pour me some milk?”

“Sure. You want some tuna?”

“Oh, my sweet boy, always thinking ahead,” said Regina, “Yes, I would _love_ some tuna.”

Henry smiled as he went to fulfill his mother’s wishes. She was more than happy as she lapped up the milk and devoured the tuna, purring loudly. Henry sat down on the floor beside her, slowly stroking her back. Her fluffy tail was sticking straight up, another indication of how happy she was in that moment. Once she was finished, she hopped up into his arms and he carried her over to the couch, where she curled up in his lap while he watched TV.

“Mom?” he asked after a while.

“Yes, dear?”

“How long are you gonna be like this?”

“Hopefully not too much longer,” said Regina.

“Why don’t you just let Emma try again? How is she supposed to get better at magic if you don’t give her a chance?”

“I’m just worried that she’ll turn herself into a cat, and then we’ll both be stuck this way.”

“Have you even _tried_ channeling your magic?”

“Of course I have,” said Regina, “but it’s already difficult since I don’t have much experience with being a cat, and it’s even harder to concentrate when everything around me is a distraction. That wall, for instance. I’ve got to go and stare at it for the next nine hours.”

She jumped down from the couch and went over to the wall, staring at it without so much as a word. Henry just shook his head. He knew right then that this was going to be a long day. A _very. Long. Day._


	5. Dilemma

Emma was standing idly by as Snow scanned the shelf for something to buy David. “So,” said Snow, “aside from the whole ‘cat’ situation, how have things been between you and Regina?”

“Great, actually,” Emma told her, “She’s been teaching me how to cook. I’d say I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I made tacos last night since she’s, you know, _a cat.” _

Snow chuckled. “That’s wonderful, dear. Maybe you could help me bake a cake for your father.”

“Dad doesn’t like cake,” Emma said casually.

Snow seemed taken aback by this. _“What?_ But he always eats the cakes I make.”

“I’d say it’s because he loves you, and he doesn’t want to upset you after you spend all that time baking.”

“Oh. Well, what should I do? What’s a birthday without a cake?”

“Just make him some brownies with a side of vanilla ice cream, and you’ll be all set,” Emma told her with a smile.

“Why did he tell you he didn’t like cake, but not me?”

“Probably for the same reasons,” said Emma.

Snow seemed mildly disappointed, but perked up when Emma brought a hand to her shoulder and offered a soft smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Mom. Cake or no cake, I know he’ll be happy.”

A smile tugged at Snow’s lips, and she nodded. “Thank you, Emma. I’m glad you told me.”

“No problem.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Henry was walking down the stairs when he noticed Regina sitting in the window sill, idly swinging her bushy tail back and forth.

“Do you see that, Henry?” she asked him. “See what?”

“That cardinal, there, in the apple tree? It’s quite beautiful,” said Regina, “and of course, it looks appetizing. I find myself overcome with the need to sink my claws and teeth into it. I want to hunt. I want to stalk my prey in the grass, for I was born to be the predator.”

“Mom, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry, dear. It’s just that I seem to grow more catlike with each passing moment.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“I suppose it should,” said Regina, “but I’ve become much more apathetic.”

“Apathetic?”

“It means I don’t care.”

“Oh. I really think you should let Emma change you back.”

If cats could shrug, Henry was sure Regina would have. “Whatever,” said the fluffy feline.

“Mom, this is serious!”

Regina opened her mouth to speak, but what came out was a squeaky _meow._ She and Henry blinked quickly, both equally-stunned.

“Mom?”

Once again: _meow._

Henry’s eyes widened and his blood ran cold. “Oh no.” He swiftly pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Emma. She was quick to answer.

_“Hey kid, what’s up? Did Regina destroy the house?”_

Henry shook his head. “No,” he told her, “She started meowing— like, _actually_ meowing— instead of talking, and it’s freaking me out. I don’t know what to do about it.”

_“Crap. Just— Just stay where you are, and keep an eye on her. Don’t let her out of your sight! I’ll be there as soon as I can.”_

* * *

When Emma arrived back at the mansion, she found Henry holding Regina like a baby. “Regina? Have you really been meowing?”

_Meow. _

_“Shit,”_ Emma muttered.

Upon hearing this, Regina let out a furious_ hissss._ Even with the lack of words, her message was clear. _No swearing in front of our son!_

“Sorry,” said Emma, “I’m gonna call Gold. If he won’t help, then I’ll have to try and do the spell again.”

Regina jumped down out of Henry’s arms and sank her claws into the leg of Emma’s pants. Emma jumped back, swearing, but Regina refused to let go. With a huff, Emma walked to the stairs— Regina still clinging to her leg— and sat down on the step. She pulled out her phone and called the pawn shop. Gold answered in the midst of the first ring.

_“Ah, Miss Swan,”_ said the Dark One, _“I was expecting to hear from you again.”_

Emma fought not to shudder at just how creepy that was. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Because, Dearie, you and Her Majesty are the only ones who ever call me, and last time I checked, cats couldn’t use phones.”

“O— kay,” Emma said awkwardly, “I don’t know how to deal with this, Gold. Regina can’t talk anymore. She’s just been meowing. How do I turn her back? She clearly doesn’t want me screwing up that spell again.”

The Dark One laughed, which sent chills up Emma’s spine. _“If you don’t find a way to turn her back into a human, she will be trapped in the form of a cat for as long as she lives. Being in a different body for too long has rather, shall we say, _lasting effects.”

“Then how the hell am I supposed to fix this?! Will you help us or not?”

_ “You don’t need my help,”_ said Gold, _“The answer has been right in front of you all along.”_

Emma frowned. “What?”

_ “How did you break the curse?”_

“I gave Henry True Love’s Kiss.”

_ “Then that is how you will fix your little dilemma,”_ said the Dark One, _“Good luck, Dearie.”_

He hung up, and Emma just stared at the phone for a moment before looking at Regina and Henry. A smile graced her lips. “True Love’s Kiss,” she said, “That’s the answer.”

Regina hopped up into the blonde’s lap and meowed, staring up at her with big, pleading eyes. Emma smiled and held Regina close, pressing her lips to the top of the feline’s head.


	6. Human Again

“Emma, would you be a dear and get me some milk? In a bowl, please.”

“You’re not a cat anymore. Just get it yourself.”

Regina pursed her lips. “Very well.” She did so, pouring some cold milk into a small bowl and setting it down carefully on the counter. “Gods, it feels so strange to have thumbs again.”

She sat down at the counter and proceeded to lap up the milk with her tongue. Emma noticed this and watched her in a mix of fascination and mild disgust.

“Seriously, Regina? Can’t you at least use a straw?”

Regina stopped for a moment, but didn’t even look at the blonde. “If I wanted a straw, I’d have gotten one.”

Emma sighed. “Anything else, _Your Majesty?” _

Regina let out a quiet chuckle. “A can of tuna, if you don’t mind.”

“Christ, I feel like I’m gonna throw up,” Emma muttered. She went to the cabinet and retrieved a small can of tuna, pulling back the tab and setting it down in front of Regina along with a fork. “Please use this. I don’t wanna watch you eat this like a cat. You’re human now, Regina. You need to readjust. After all, you’re a Queen, and—"

Regina was quick to cut her off. “I do what I want.”

Emma was stunned. “I was gonna say ‘a bit more refined.’”

Once more, Regina ignored her and opted to use her teeth to get the tuna out of the can. The moment it met her tongue, her eyes widened, and she swatted it into the floor with a look of utter disgust.

“By the Gods, that is _abominable!” _

Emma blinked at her for a moment before bursting with laughter. “You see? You’re getting better already!” Bending down to pick up the can, Emma set it by the sink.

Regina folded her arms. “Just throw it away,” she muttered, “There will be no more tuna in this house.”

Emma chuckled as she tossed the can into the trash. “Sure thing.”

* * *

Later that evening, as Emma and Regina went up to bed for the night, the brunette curled up against Emma with her head on the blonde’s chest. She had her eyes closed and was smiling contentedly as Emma slowly stroked her hair. Despite all the chaos that had come as a result of this Catastrophe, the two seemed closer than ever before.

“I think this experience has made our relationship much more intimate,” Regina mused.

“Yeah? You think so?” asked Emma.

Regina gave a small nod and a quiet hum. _“Mm-hm._ My appreciation for my human body has skyrocketed.” She moved so that her lips were right up against Emma’s ear. _“Ente nuja edu e valeona,”_ she husked.

Emma gasped. “Regina! What the hell—”

Suddenly, Emma found herself stuck in the body of an orange-and-white tabby. She blinked in surprise and began sneezing uncontrollably. Regina just chuckled, stroking her head ever so gently.

“Regina, change me back!”

Again, the brunette laughed softly. “I’m sorry, darling, but you’ll be spending a few days in this body. This is your punishment.”

“What?! But I thought you _liked_ being a cat?!”

“I got used to it,” said Regina, “but that’s not why I’m punishing you.” She held up a sparkly collar. “I’m punishing you for forcing me to wear this abomination— and now, sweet Emma, it’s _your turn.”_


End file.
